Friday, 5 August 2011

Tongue

Anyway, whilst I was kept up all night last night by the constant "PING" sound of water hitting the base of this pot I put under the drip from my roof that left me overtired and with a manic glint in my eye today,
 




 
I was also  SUPER excited, because I has a blog!!!!!!(one), and I know it's a big hit, because everyone I know has been telling me:
And I've been all like:
and it's been great. So to kick things up a notch, here's something you can do for fun that you may just end up doing a lot. 
Let's Cook!

Here is a little segment where I'll tell you my experience with a dish, and you can do it (if you're game) and get back to me! In my holidays, I get a little experimental, so today we'll be 

COOKING TONGUE!
wait wait wait I know what you're thinking...
and that's exactly what everyone tells me.
But actually, it's a traditional Italian recipe, and it's delicious! Just ignore the fact that it's tongue. You can do it! Unless you're ...chicken!!! 

Here's what you need:

  • 1 tongue (of course. make sure it's a big ol' beef tongue, or you'll need lots of little ones.)
  • 2tbs flour
  • 2tbs extra-virgin olive oil
  • 2 onions
  • 1 garlic clove
  • 1 and a half cups tomatoes all crushed up, or a can of tomatoes
  • 2 cups red wine
  • 5 cloves
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 3 and a half cups of beef broth or the equivalent in  stock
  • more flour as needed
  • salt
  • some cheesecloth (optional)
  • salt
  • Fresh herbs of your choosing (i like tarragon, basil, parsley and oregano for italian food)
  • lots of time
I'm not going to lie to you, this dish takes a long time to cook. Not so much the Chopping and Preparing, they only take about 30 mins altogether if you're a reasonable cook, but the actual cooking time takes ages... three and a half hours. 

The steps:
1: aquire the tongue. 
This is difficult, because most butchers won't just supply these. Ask at a specialty shop, and you might get lucky like I did. 

 
But it just so happened:



If you aren't so lucky, ask to order it in. They surely have tongues, and you probably eat them all the time in saussages. Did I just spoil saussages?


2. Now boil the tongue. If you can stomach it. If you're not... CHICKEN!!! (sorry, I won't do that again). Come on. Just drop it in a pot of water and bring it to the boil on the stove. Don't look at it, put a lid on. let it boil for an hour and a half. Figure out how to knit in that time. Knit me a pony. 

with jetpacks.
My "how to draw cool pictures" book says that all pictures are a combination of ovals and simple shapes. by this logic, I have drawn what is potentially a masterpiece. I love my logic.

Now the icky bit. Don't wince. If I can spend two hours of quality time with cadavers every Tuesday, you can do this.
 


Cadavers= awful conversationalists.
 Anyway, the icky bit.
3. PEEL THE TONGUE. you can do it. the outside goes all white. you don't want to eat this bit, it's got all the tastebuds on it. if you eat the tongue with the taste buds on, you are effectively tongue-kissing a cow. 


hellooooo, gorgeous.
 Once this is over with, congrats! Just getting to this stage deserves an award. I'll feature you on my next post saying something self-appreciating and amazing.

4. Now peel and slice the onions and garlic,
5. Brown these with the olive oil in a BIIG saucepan until they go golden. Now brown the tongue on the outside and add the tomatoes and the wine. Careful not to get boozy on the fumes, because you're bringing it to the boil. 

6. Add about half the stock, and put it down to a simmer. 

Crafters will love this next bit:
7. put the bay leaves, cinnamon and cloves in a little cheesecloth bag and tie it with kitchen string. 

If you're like me with string, you can just throw them in. I won't tell anyone. just remember to pull them out afterwards. 
me with string

Fun Activity!
while you have the cloves out, chew on one. your tongue goes numb! amazing! apparently people used to chew cloves before the days of local anasthetic at the dentists. Yes, I know, I also prefer the anaesthetic.

8. Simmer the stuff with the lid off, add the rest of the broth as necessary. 
after 2 hours, remove the spices and tongue and puree the rest with a stick blender. 


Another Fun Activity! Get someone to hold the stick blender when you're done, and lick the sauce off of the end! It's an exercise in trust and/or hospital visits :)

9. Cook the liquid until it's thick, add flour if you need, but make sure you don't just throw the flour in big chunks or you will end up with big clots of flour. I recommend mixing flour with a little cold water to form a paste, then stir the paste through.
10. Add salt to taste, and chop your herbs and stir them through.
11. Chop the tongue into thick slices, and stir that through as well.

12. Eat and enjoy!
You may want to serve it with pasta. 

voila!

Tongue really is a tender, tasty meat, but so many people have preconceptions about what they eat.

so serve it to your friends, and don't tell them what it is.





Thursday, 4 August 2011

pink rain

Oh yes, you know it's raining when you're getting wet and you're inside. 
This is the reason for starting this blog, I am overly sick of rain. 

So I've been a-dashing from shelter to shelter all day with an umbrella up, and people asking me  "Why are you using the umbrella? There is only, like, 2 meters to walk..." of course, they disregard the fact that if I get a small amount of water on my skin I will melt in a small puddle of viscera and goo and eyeballs.









Anyway, I get home finally and all I want to do is maybe sleep or study because I haven't done that in a while. I walk into my room and go "So... I'm getting rained on still. Wow it's a wet day."
And 
it
takes
me
a
while.

My roof was leaking. of course.
Not only this, it was raining pink crud all over my room. 
"I'm gonna destroy all your stuff yo"

Why was it pink?
Good question.
My hipster friend Catlin who allegedly hates hipsters (She's probably just competitive. I'm not sure) gave me this beautiful card for my birthday, decorated with a flower and a beautiful, sentimental note inside telling me how I'm amazing and Stuff.  

ideal card greeting! never worry about sentimental card messages again! simply write the above message into a card and send it to your:

 mother, grandmother,chess colleague.boss,casual sex aquaintanceand much more!

Aww inducing. I know. 
I didn't want to throw it away, because it was lovely, and I'm just too lazy, so i put it up on my shelf.
BiiiiG mistake. 
even bigger than the mistake I made the other day where I thought a practice patient had a stomach ulcer and they were really having a heart attack.
the water dripped from my ceiling right into this little red card, which collected all the water and dribbled it back down all the way along my shelf (because of course it was at the very top).

Now I officially hate the colour red . Rant over. 

THE CULPRIT!




I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend, hey
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain

I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain

Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changin'
It's time we all reach out for something new, that means you too
You say you want a leader, but you can't seem to make up your mind
And I think you better close it and let me guide you to the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
If you know what I'm singin' about up here, come on raise your hand
Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you, only want to see you in the purple rain